Emirati men shun women who study abroadAn article was posted and have caused alot of debate and frustration. I thought why not highlight it here. I wouldn’t agree with the fact stated in the article where
“Emirati women are having second thoughts about studying abroad for fear that being perceived as “westernised” will damage their chances of finding a husband back home.”Nowadays we Emirati women have high and different priorities. Marriage is not on TOP of our list nor something we are desperate for (I don’t speak for all though). Plus the second thought of studying abroad is not of the fear stated above its out of respect to our family and parents who just don’t approve or because its about time we have faith in our country and use the universities they have built for us.
“I am afraid if I study abroad my chances of getting married will significantly decrease, because many Emirati guys do not accept a woman who studied in a foreign country and was exposed to different cultures than our own,” said Sara, who would only give her first name.Well let me highlight something here. We Emiratis whether abroad or in our own country we are EXPOSED to different cultures so whether we go abroad or stay in the UAE we get exposed. Plus why care what “Emirati” guys accept or think? Why don’t they “Emirati guys” expect what they expect from a Non-Emirati women who they marry what they expect from an Emirati women. Why always put expectations on Emirati women when believe me if you open your eyes WIDE you will see that you have been missing alot!!
“Emirati men love to think the one they will marry is pure in all senses. Studying outside means coming back with a liberated mindframe.hmmmm what is not pure about studying abroad? .. and about the “liberated mind-frame” so does this imply that while we are in our country we are imprisoned and tied up? We Emirati women have worked so hard to reach where we have reached. We have been given the right to study abroad and work and fulfill our dreams by our religion, rulers, and culture and no one will take this away from us. To all guys out there who think similarly to what have been stated in the article allow me to say that you feel threatened by any successful woman and all you want to see is a low self esteem woman who is always depending on you. Well sorry but we now are independent, successful, educated, have a voice and opinion, and have a very high self esteem. And for all the women, girls out there change your way of thinking because this is not true. Increase your self esteem and be confident that the right guy will not have such excuses and will support you all the way. Let me highlight one last thing there are many Emirati guys who are not like this and what frustrated me was why was such article published in a way to belittle the Emirati guys and women.
Twitter
Tumblr
Facebook
Blackberry
Flickr
YouTube
i think Emarati men should be proud of emaraty women . women who work hard to achieve goals not because of themselve but to raise the name of the country high to built a great nation . if men felt so threaten by successful women , then they should start to fix that gap inner themselves first . ” woman is a school of life if she prepared herself then she can race the world “
Everyone gets exposed to different cultures, especially in Dubai, the multicultural hub, that’s a given. But it’s different when traditional Emarati parents belief that they’ve got their children under their wings. Traveling abroad means no parental supervision (in most cases), and it certainly makes living under the microscope no longer a problem. Many youngsters are not half as traditional as their parents, they have a liberated outlook on life that their parents wouldn’t agree with, which means whatever lifestyle (whichever that is) they have back at home would be kept low-key. Studying abroad gives total freedom, & that is what many Emarati’s men and parents have an issue with.
We are not living under the rock just because we haven’t pursued our education abroad, and neither is that an excuse to not know about the flaunted life stlye that is not accepted back at home-Dubai-many of the abroad students has adapted. That life style gives studying abroad a bad reputation & that is the problem.
Our country does not provide us with many options for our University experience education. We do not have a wide variety of majors to choose from, and not all Masters are nationally provided. Some of us do not have “faith” in our educational system, but at the same time we do not want to spend our lifetime bragging about our achievements with the awards hanging on the wall.
Being liberated and an independent Emarati woman does not mean I am incapable of having second thoughts about life changing decisions, such as marriage, not because I am “desperate” but because I value such pact.
I am a firm believer that everyone is entitled to their own point of view, and I strongly belief that everyone’s opinion matters, but it does not mean to refute others fears just because you don’t agree with them. That is not a solid reason for it not to seize to exist.
Not desperate,
Sara
Thank you Badreya true
and you have valid points there
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Sara
“Local men offered mixed reactions when asked if they would marry a woman educated abroad. Mohamad Ali Yousuf, a 24-year-old-Emirati who studied at the American University of Sharjah, was uncertain as to why someone would want to go away for their education amid several worthy choices at home.
“I would like to understand the main reason for wanting or having to study abroad, where we have an abundance of good universities locally,” he said.”
Are you kidding me? We have good universities? Seriously? Is that why there is so much of focus on overhauling the education system because they’re that good…? Is that why we have so many expat imports because we have such intellectuals and experts within our own community? Which wonderland are these peeps living in?
The reason that Emirati men shun women who study abroad is simply because of egos. It’s not a question of the women being “too liberal”; it’s simply the independence factor. I suppose Emirati men need women to feel dependent and rely on them, a sense of being needed and quite possibly also threatened by them. Honestly, I don’t know of any Arab male who’s going to be comfortable with a wife who earns more, is brainier and more ambitious…He is “The Man”.
“I wouldn’t want to be involved with a family that doesn’t regard the safety of their daughter [highly enough] by sending her alone to a foreign country,” he said.
There are millions of women who live alone, who care for themselves without a benefactor. Are we expected to be spoon fed throughout our lives? Newsflash, this is how you learn to “grow up”, to become an adult and to learn to fend for yourselves! It’s called learning. What families need to do is to support them, obviously for all the right reasons.
There are more than enough vices available to those who are looking for it within the country itself, there’s no need to travel for it! Internet, people, satellite etc bring to us all kinds of “influences”. It’s too much money to go abroad to be “influenced”. Emarati men will have to come up with better excuses than this for their own shortcomings…
We’ve been hearing this since the primeval times. It usually comes from those men who only know how to kick a football or punch a nose. This in my mind is an overzealous man’s way of saying “I’m the greatest”. But if we are living in an educated country – which I know we are – no one’s bothered but such shallow expression of so called greatness or power.
There is no yardstick to measure the intellectuality of a man to a woman. Do we measure this in terms of the degree a woman holds that is a level or more, higher to a man’s? Women had been kept at bay earlier from various aspects of the society by saying that they are incapable. But these women have proved otherwise. Today they have entered the man’s domain. She is doing things that were only, once upon a time, done by men. Shunning us from studying abroad just because you are intimidated by the thought that we would come back with a “liberated mind-frame” is not making you much of a man. It is your ego that is playing here. You, of all people for a fact, should be proud that you have by your side a woman that is open to conversations on the dinner table. A woman you can take to gatherings with pride because you know she would only make you prouder with the knowledge that she acquires. You wouldn’t want a woman that would not know if a country such as Papua New Guinea existed when you ask her: “Honey, did you hear what happened in Papua New Guinea?”
For heaven’s sake wake up and smell the coffee! If you drop that ego for once, you will see that it is not such a bad thing after all and in fact you yourselves would suggest that your daughters study abroad. Studying abroad does not in any sense mean that these women would come back corrupted. I know of people that are corrupted much more than you can imagine and they are ONLY in their family’s house, let alone studying locally! Both my younger sisters are studying abroad in different countries and my parents couldn’t be prouder! They are independent and I have no shame in taking advise from them when required; neither do the men in our family!
You shun them from studying abroad, then believe you me brother when I say that you are shunning yourself from the one person that can and will make you grow!
Fatma Salim
I think some phrases here have been misunderstood.
For example, when people here use the term “liberal” it is not meant as the opposite of “shackled” or “imprisoned”. What is meant by “liberated mind-set” is the opposite of a religious mind-set, and I think we can all agree that our culture frowns upon those who frown on religion.
The studying abroad is not feared because of its educational factor, though of course I could be wrong and there may be those out there who prefer a less-educated wife. However, imagine for instance a single Emarati guy decided to move away from his parents and live alone (still in the UAE), doesn’t our culture find that extremely unacceptable? If you’re married, then sure, but if you’re not, then your parent’s house is your home. That’s how our culture is. It goes double for a woman, and we’re still talking about within the UAE. A single Emarati girl suddenly goes to her father and says: “Baba, I want to move out and rent my own apartment.”
Like it or not, she won’t get it.
Studying abroad? Alone? Single?
People will wonder what kind of home she’s been brought up in. Again, like it or not, this is our culture.
And I’m only leaving this comment as a clarification, not as an agreement with the sentiments expressed. Education is number one in my book.
P.S. These same people might not mind if their wives studied abroad as long as they’re accompanied by the husbands.